Fading
by TMNTAwesomeFangirl2001
Summary: A song fic about Donnie, and how he's feeling after Splinter's death.


Donnie flinched as Raph's door slammed. It was louder than every other time. Leo shouted something at their hot headed brother and then was heard grunting and slicing away in the dojo. Donnie sighed and tried to wipe away the circles under his eyes, even though it was useless. He couldn't hide that he hadn't slept for almost a week. The purple clad ninja layed back down on his cot in the lab and turned his t-phone volume up louder. Music was the only thing that had been comforting him for the past week. Ever since the night they lost him… Their father.

 _We were the shadows to your light,_

 _Can you still feel us?_

 _Another start,_

 _But you've faded away_

Donnie closed his eyes, trying not to relive it all again. The sound of his oldest brother's scream… the sound of slicing through flesh…

 _I'm afraid our aim is out of sight,_

 _Can we stay_

 _Alive_

Their father's fallen form on the cement… Every single detail had been burned into his mind that night. And the minds of his brothers.

 _We need you now,_

 _We need you now,_

 _We need you now,_

 _Wish it was just a fantasy_

They all acted so different now. Leo was always so angry… Raph was always locked up in his room… and Mikey barely spoke. And then there was himself…

 _We need you now,_

 _Wish it had been imaginary,_

 _We need you now,_

He wasn't doing anything about all of this… he was useless. Just like he was all the time. He was only able to watch as his family continued to fall apart.

 _We're like Atlantis,_

 _Under this sea,_

 _Under this sea,_

 _We need you now,_

 _In our dreams,_

 _The monsters run wild inside of we,_

 _We're fading,_

 _We're fading,_

 _So lost, we're fading,_

 _We're fading_

 _So lost, we're fading_

Why was it always them? Why did it always have to be his family that suffered? Why couldn't it just be him that suffered, and his family be safe and away from any kind of danger?

 _These shallow waters, never met,_

 _What we needed,_

 _I'm letting go,_

 _A deeper dive,_

 _Eternal silence of the sea,_

 _Leave them breathing,_

 _Alive_

Why couldn't he be useful? Why couldn't he do anything to help? Why couldn't he have saved their father?! He was right there…

 _We need you now,_

 _We need you now,_

And now he can't even help his family cope with their father's death. Nothing he could say would make anything better. It was hopeless… He was hopeless…

 _Under the bright,_

 _But faded lights,_

 _My heart is set on fire,_

 _I need you now,_

 _I need you now…_

Donnie felt the tears slide out of the corner of his eyes, gliding down his face. Why...? why did it have to be his father? Why couldn't have Super Shredder taken him? Why couldn't he have been on that rooftop with Splinter? Why…? Why?!

 _I need you now,_

 _I'm like Atlantis,_

 _Under the sea,_

 _Under the sea,_

 _I need you now,_

 _In my dreams,_

 _The monsters run wild inside of me,_

 _I'm fading,_

 _I'm fading,_

 _So lost, I'm fading,_

 _I'm fading,_

Donnie let out a choked sob, louder than what he expected. Why couldn't he do anything to help his family?! Why was he such a hopeless freak that couldn't do anything right?!

 _So lost, I'm fading…_

"Donnie?!" Leo's voice rang behind him. Donnie heard Mikey and Raph run in behind their oldest brother. The purple clad turtle didn't respond, and kept letting out choked sobs. "Donnie, are you okay?!" Leo asked, trying to turn his brother over. "T-tell us what's wrong, Donatello…"

Donnie let his brothers sit him up, still sobbing uncontrollably.

"Don, talk to us, bro." Raph said, surprising his younger brother with his soothing tone.

Donnie coughed and look at his brothers, his vision clouded with tears. "W-why?! W-wh-y couldn't I-I d-do someth-ing?! W-why a-am I so-so usel-ess?! I-I'm so-sorry I c-couldn't help h-hi-" his cries were cut off when all three of his brothers hugged him at once.

"Donnie, it's not your fault that Papa's gone…" Mikey whispered, patting Donnie's shell.

"So don't even think for a second that you need to apologize to us!" Raph said, squeezing him a bit.

Leo pat the back of Donnie's head soothingly, just like Splinter would do when they were toddlers and would cry. "We all have to be strong for each other, Donatello. So don't think that you're useless ever again. You're probably the strongest one of all of us in this time… It's okay brother."

Donnie let out another sob, but these were happy tears he let fall. They were tears that had the feeling of hope in them. He and his brothers could get through this. No, they _would_ get through this. Because they had each other. And even though one piece of their family wasn't there physically, their father would never leave them. He'd always be there with them.

Donnie blinked away some tears and looked up, seeing his father smiling at him in the doorway. Donnie smiled back and hugged his brothers tighter.

The Hamato family would never break apart.

They'd never leave each other.

They'd never fade...


End file.
